You Know You’re 100% Habesha if:
You have at least 10 relatives in D.C.
You make eye contact and nod your head if you see another habesha on the street
You can spot an habesha from a mile away
Your house and clothes smell like onions
Your mom is in the kitchen for 10 hours & still is not done cooking.
Your freezer is stuffed with kebay, berbere, and used up oil
You, your father, and your mother have three different last names
You are familiar with the expression “Waaa” and its various functions, which can be used to express a warning, excitement, anger, sadness, etc
Your mother and her friends call each other every day to update each other on gossips
Your parents always make you take pictures by flowers or beautiful things to send to Ethiopia
Your parents want to call your name but they call all your siblings first before they finally get it right
A party starts at 3 and everyone shows up at 6
Whenever you or parents see something disturbing you mumble “Ayyyyyeee America”
You pronounce your last name 20 times for people and they still don’t get it right
Your parents tell you that the only REAL careers are Doctor or Pharmacist
You recognize a simple family gathering to be more than 50 people you don’t recognize
You know at least 7 people who drive a taxi
Kibae is essential for both your hair and food
You have at least 1 relative living in America Illegally
You show up to school/work, smellin like “WOT”
Your parents say things like “what did he said” or “what did he did”
If your parents say: “shat up your mouz”
You have never heard your parents say ..”I love You”.. to each other
You are forced to eat more injera even though you have already had 2 plates
Your parents are positively sure you will marry habesha,and will have it no other way
Its forbidden to get anything lower than A on your report card, maybe a B, but a C is out of the question
You always try to get a discount at a store even if the item is on SALE
Your parents tell you how everything is better here than back home,water, food ,etc.
Your papers say your 5 years younger than you actually are
You listen to the same Ethiopian tape everyday for 6 months straight and still don’t know the words
You or your parents fight over who gets to pay the bill
At every wedding it looks like all the women have robbed a jewelry store
Everybody back home thinks that you are RICH
Your parents have an old black and white portrait hanging on the wall in which they do not look directly at the camera
Bob Marley is pronounced “Bom Barley”
You hear good news and you hear people say: “elelelelelelelelelelelele”
You pronounce “brother” as “brazer”
You or your parents say you’re going back home every year and never go
You have family who’ve been in the states since the 70s, and they still have an accent and don’t know how to use a computer
The men are always in the living room talking about politics, and the women are in the kitchen gossiping